Pain Au Chocolat
by ArtificialAorta
Summary: Darcy's been keeping secrets from her father and Tony is not pleased. And when Tony's not pleased, he builds death rays; Darcy/Clint and Tony as Darcy's father.


**Rating**: 15 for violence and some language  
**Summary**: Darcy's been keeping secrets from her father and Tony is not pleased. And when Tony's not pleased, he builds death rays.  
Or: the drabble that wouldn't end.  
**Pairings**: Darcy/Clint, squint for Tony/Pepper  
**A/N**:So this is set in a universe where Tony is Darcy's father. I know there are a couple of fics that take on this idea and I was rather inspired by Tarafina and Selene Illusinia. But I hope I put my own, slightly different spin on things.  
**A/N2**:My first ever Avengers fic. A bit nervous to be honest. Did my best to try and catch some semblance of the characters' spirits. Let me know, yay or nay...I may be tempted to write more in this series if you guys like it.

* * *

Tony Stark was not a happy man. The other Avengers seemed to have picked up on his mood and were avoiding any real talk with him, letting him play on his tablet and grumble to himself as they waited for the briefing to start. Something about a megalomanic with plans to take over the world. Whatever, they were all the same after a while and at least it was a human this time. Besides, he had more important things to worry about. Such as, who the hell impregnated his daughter?

It had plagued him up for two days straight now, preventing any form of rest. Lack of sleep for forty-eight hours was far from unheard of for Stark but the rage that had been continuing to build up was practically seeping through his pores and there wasn't much good that could come from it. The first twenty-four hours had been a blur. During his monthly Snoop Party on Darcy's floor in the Stark Tower (a tradition formed out of fatherly love, no matter how much Pepper said it was a gross invasion of privacy), he found something that made his blood run cold then boil over. Dread at finding a receipt for a pregnancy test in Darcy's drawers had led to a full blown panic attack once he found the positive stick after rummaging through her trash. From that point on, he went a bit stark raving mad. Well, more so than usual.

Somehow, Darcy had convinced JARVIS to never let Tony see any of the footage in her apartment or reveal who had been inside, unless it was related to an attack or break in. If JARVIS had been human, Tony would have fired him on the spot- probably only to rehire him a couple days later but that was beside the point. Threats, pleads, bribes and attempts to fool did not move the AI, not that Tony felt he had much of a chance. The AI seemed to favour Darcy over him at the worst of times. Perhaps JARVIS was aware of some of the repercussions that revealing anything of worth in the current situation would cause. Attempts to keep peace or not, Tony was probably going to reprogram the AI to have a stutter and lisp.

Not able to find a suitable solution to the issue in the moment, he decided to drink instead. That was his nature. It was comforting...it didn't help. So he went into his workshop. Full immersion in the workshop helped slightly, smothering a few of the thoughts but some of the worst still danced through his mind.

He wondered if this was some sort of karmic retribution or if it was just his being a shitty father that had led his beautiful baby girl down this path of debauchery and perversion? Was there something he could have done to prevent this? Drank less? Spent more time with her? Bought her more toys? He should have never listened to Pepper's stupid ideas of sending her off to do charity missions in whatever corners of the world. Character building his ass.

He could practically hear Pepper in his head now. An angel on his shoulder, trying to calm him. Telling him it wasn't his fault, that he did the best he could raising Darcy. She was a Stark after all and did he really think she wasn't going to get into a good amount of trouble or a bit of debauchery in her lifetime? Yes, Tony was no saint and his daughter had grown into a rather well managed adult (for which he thanked Pepper and Happy for because if it had _only_ been Tony raising her, Darcy would probably be stripping in Reno).

And okay, she was twenty-three now and had a steady job as Coulson's assistant but no matter what, she would always be that eager toddler, following him around with a toy wrench in one hand and a bit of drool down her chin. Tony wasn't ready for his baby to have a baby. He didn't think Darcy was either. A baby changed everything and he knew that from personal experience. Raising a child wasn't a picnic. As much as he loved his daughter and wouldn't trade raising her for a world filled with Stark Towers and booze, he didn't want her to make the same mistakes he'd make. He did his best to try and make sure she avoided some of the bigger ones. Over the years, he'd been able to pick her up and kiss away the booboos. Hug her until the nightmares left and calm slumber came. Scared away the monsters under her bed and in the closet. Only this time, it wasn't a scraped knee or a monster under the bed. It was a whole other batch of bullshit and god, he was getting flashbacks to the call that had informed him he was a father. It practically gave him hives and he hadn't been this bad since he found out about that robot in New Mexico.

Everything he didn't want to think about his daughter and the trauma he had caused over the years was now kicking him in the gut. Just from her language and Stark mannerisms, anyone could tell Darcy wasn't the most purist of ladies but Tony still had the illusion that she was at least a virgin. Or, she did a great job making him think she was. In the back of his mind, he knew, but denial was a father's best friend. That and finely aged liqueurs. Which he needed a lot more of...

What made all of this worse was that Darcy had never mentioned having a boyfriend. In fact, from what he knew, the last boyfriend she had was some skinny, smarmy kid in her Sophomore year of college. That meant not only was she having unprotected sex, she was having it with strangers. Disgusting strangers who probably were riddled with syphilis and herpes.

Why did she feel the need to have one night stands? Was she mimicking her father's actions? Was she doomed to live out her mother's path because of one mistake? Zoey Lewis had been such a bright-eyed young woman, full of life and hope. Then Tony knocked her up and her dreams were over. It was ironic really, that the day she was driving over to get Tony to sign away any rights as a father, Zoey had died in a car crash. _He_ was responsible for Zoey's wasted life. There was no way in hell that Darcy's would be wasted either. No matter how many times he told himself he was trying to honour Zoey, Tony knew that pretty much all he did was self-motivated. But he still loved Darcy and wanted the best life she could ever dream of. A baby at twenty-three did not fit into that equation.

What if there were complications when Darcy gave birth? Tony couldn't cope if he lost her. Dark thoughts engulfed him. He was spiralling into the inky abyss he had been fighting so hard to not let swallow him whole since the first day he held Darcy in his arms. The years had been a battle, many nights he'd toe the line but he'd been able to pull himself up. Love that he didn't know he was capable of was the beacon that led him back every time. Love and an intense need to protect his daughter because if she couldn't trust him to be there for her, then what the fuck was he even good for? And now he'd failed her.

So, after four drinks of scotch hadn't quelled his nerves, Tony went into the lab. The pregnancy test sat on his work bench, a vile reminder of what a shit father he was. The pink lines a push to become a better father and an even better granddaddy. Though he ended up making a specialised laser during the wee hours of the morning so maybe he needed to work on that bettering part. Either way, he was happy with the invention. It would be a nice little addition to his suit. Efficient and best of all, painful. And he knew just who to test it on. Just needed to find the impregnating fucker bastard cunt dick.

That search had led to his second day of no sleep. He'd been trying to piece together the puzzle with what little JARVIS claimed he was allowed to reveal under Darcy's orders. Correlating how far along Darcy may have been to some of her nights out he knew about gave him scarce information to work off of but it was something. He'd done more with less in the past. It was frustrating how well Darcy had been able to hide her tracks. Though, she'd had years of practice dodging nosey reporters and a bit of pride swelled in Tony's chest, despite the situation. Darcy Lewis was Tony's best kept secret. Even within SHIELD, Coulson was the only person to know Darcy's real parentage. Not telling Fury was one way that Coulson had been able to get Tony to co-operate a little bit more. Also, under the horrible tutelage of that hairline receding ninja, Darcy was bound to learn a few more ways to fool even her own father.

No matter, it was almost narrowed down. Not really, but he'd like to think he had a lead. The night in question had to be somewhere between December 29th and January 2nd. The fact that there had been a number of large parties in the tower as well as numerous outings didn't help but persistence was practically on the Stark family crest. Actually, it was unrelenting annoyance, grease and scotch with an image of a Iron Man suited lion. Darcy had the large coat of arms commissioned for his last birthday.

Scanning the names of who entered the building, background checks on names he wasn't familiar with and looking at images to determine if they were Darcy's type took up all his attention. He didn't even notice Bruce making coughing noises to try and get his attention. Out of everyone in the group, Bruce was the most likely to recognise the sequences and information scrolling in front of Tony's eyes but he didn't comment. Just tried to ask Tony if he needed a coffee because from the crazed look in Tony's eyes, something was bound to explode. Though high levels of caffeine probably not the best thing to give Stark.

Tony was suddenly brought out of his thoughts when Coulson and Darcy arrived. Watching his daughter with a frown, Tony tried to search for signs that she was distraught or tense. It killed him to not just outright tell her she wasn't alone and that he'd always be there for her but the little reason he had left said it best not to open that can of worms in front of the whole team.

As Darcy handed out their information packets, she stopped at Tony and gave him a worried frown. The look in her eyes said she knew he hadn't been sleeping and that he looked like dog vomit. A quirk of the eyebrow a sharp reprimand but Tony just pouted and said 'I love you' with his eyes. Lack of sleep probably made it more of an 'I love pain au chocolat' but close enough. Blood shot eyes watched as Darcy made the rest of the rounds, Clint being the last but something suddenly caught Tony's eyes. Their fingers touched unnecessarily and there appeared to be a 1.96 second linger. It was so subtle that even if you were looking for it, you might have missed it. Their eyes gleamed with secrets and everything fell into place.

All the times they 'bumped' into each other in hallways or at parties and functions- Clint's hand settling on Darcy's waist in what appeared to be an innocent apology but really was an excuse for him to put his dirty circus freak hands on her. Their one-liners, inside jokes and playful insults held so much more meaning. Darcy suddenly deciding to move into Stark Tower, after years of insisted she needed to spend at least 34% of her week in a residential building away from her father. That bizarre purple Build-A-Bear monstrosity with the bow and arrow sitting on Darcy's bed. The sitting together during Avenger outings but not every time just in case suspicion arose but still sitting close enough so they could have eye contact. God, Tony did _not_ want to know what happened under the table during those nights.

The briefing went on and Tony was finally able to listen, with a twitching eye. His plans of revenge already settled on.

* * *

Clint Barton was a pretty happy guy. Normally, he didn't like to use the word happy. It felt a bit strong. Also, Darcy seemed a bit worried as of late but he knew her enough to know that she'd talk to him about what was bothering her when she was ready. So instead he'd been a little extra intimate. A few more subtle touches in public and a lot more morning sex, just to show that he cared.

Clingy Darcy during sex was always fun and they both seemed to enjoy themselves so who was he to complain? In the year and a half that he had known her, Darcy seemed to always know what to say or do to brighten his mood. He wished that he could just reach out and hold her to try and do the same. For him, it didn't matter anymore who saw but they'd agreed to keep things under the radar, if just for a few more months. To be honest, he wasn't sure why she was still so adamant on it but she was the one who'd be filling out most of the inter-department relationship forms so he left it alone. It was nice to have a secret that was full of joy for once. Anyway, it had only been seven months and he didn't want to rush into things too fast. A part of him still wanted to give Darcy a chance to run if she changed her mind or saw that she could do much better than him. The sides of him that wanted the best for Darcy versus wanted her unconditionally to himself battled in his head but he grit his teeth and tried to enjoy what was happening in the moment. And in the moment, he had got a text from Darcy with instructions to meet for a quick kiss on the 18th floor unisex bathroom.

All thoughts of a pre-lunch fondle was disrupted when screams erupted down the hall. Reaching for the gun he had, Clint looked up to see Tony in his Iron Man suit charging towards him. He ducked and rolled just in the nick of time to avoid a bright beam. The wall behind him wasn't so lucky. At least what had been a wall. It was mostly charred and melted now. His day wasn't so great anymore.

* * *

Tony aimed at Clint once more and the archer moved out of the way, almost getting a hit on the shoulder. A gun was pulled from a hidden holster and Clint started to empty rounds, likely aiming for what he hoped were weak points in the suit. That thought made Tony cackle just a bit. Most of the bullets were bounced off but one cracked the face plate, making Tony stop in surprise.

"You better watch it, I'm not in a good mood," Tony stated, resuming his walk towards Clint.

"I can see that, now will you tell me what the problem is?" asked Clint, gun still trained on the faceplate. It seemed his best chance.

"STARK! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Fury shouted from somewhere behind Tony but he didn't bother to turn around. Target was acquired and maybe he'd finally get a few hours of restless sleep after the deed was done.

"This is between me and featherbrain here. You've been sticking your dick where it doesn't belong, Barton."

"What are you talking about? I haven't touched Pepper," Clint said calmly, attempting to talk down the sleep deprived lunatic in front of him.

"I'm not talking about Pepper. I'm talking about Darcy," cleared Tony. Realization showed in Clint's eyes for a brief second but he quickly went back to a neutral, emotionless mask.

"What about Darcy?" he asked carefully.

"You've been fucking her, haven't you?" The word felt like ash in his mouth. Too coarse to be used as a verb with Darcy.

"I wouldn't call it that," Clint said quietly, a sharp edge to his voice and tightness in his features. There was an eerie quietness in the hall, despite there still being a few people watching the interaction.

"But you are. You're- you're fu- Clint Barton. You're going to wish you never laid eyes on her. You don't deserve to even breathe the same air as her," snarled Tony, deciding the wall was a good enough test for his laser and choking the life out of Barton would be much more satisfying.

"Why does it matter to you?" some of Clint's control was slipping now. Rage started to roll off of him in waves, matching Tony's own ire. It was obvious that he no longer cared about trying to calm Tony down. The battle between chilvary and selfishness that had been raging inside him finally had a winner. No one was going to tell him that he couldn't or shouldn't be with Darcy. "You're interested in her now? Pepper not enough for you? Need to go after someone a bit younger to prove your prowess or something?"

That was the last straw. In what seemed to be a blink of an eye, Clint fired off the last of his rounds into Tony's faceplate only to have the gun roughly wrenched out of his grip, crushed and thrown to the ground. The unmoving grip of Tony's suit found its way around Clint's neck and raised the archer a few inches off the ground.

"It's a shame you're not going to live long enough to regret that sentence!" Tony sneered, the frantic voices of agents and Fury an annoying buzz at the back of his head. He was about to crush Clint's windpipe when there was a loud shout that broke through.

"_Dad_! Stop it!" Darcy cried in a strong and demanding voice. His grip loosened involuntarily.

"Dad?" Both Clint and Fury asked. It was more of a wheeze from Clint accompanied by a few useless kicks. Tony turned to look at Darcy, arms crossed over her chest, brown paper bag and coffee cup in one hand and an angry glare on her face. Coulson suddenly appeared behind her and gave Tony an evil eye that almost sent shivers down his back.

"You put him down this instant," ordered Darcy. Instead, Tony lifted his faceplate and pouted.

"He knocked you up."

"I _what_?"

"Don't act like you don't know," Tony was about to tighten his hold once more but Darcy threw a warm pastry at his face. It bounced off onto Clint's chest before it hit the floor. It was a pain au chocolat pastry from one of his favourite cafes. Guilt started to break through the aura of violent wrath that had engulfed him. Slowly, he placed Clint back on the ground. The archer took a few gasps and fell back onto the floor. It took all of Tony's willpower to not kick Clint through what was left of the wall.

"He doesn't know because she hasn't told him," Coulson stated calmly.

"What? You told Coulson? Why did you tell Coulson?" asked Tony, offended and a little more outraged than before but for different reasons.

"I didn't tell him. He figured it out on his own. I wasn't going to tell anyone anything until after my doctor's appointment today. I wanted to make sure it wasn't a false positive," Darcy walked over to Clint, who was standing up on shaky legs. Before she could check his neck for visible damage, he waved her off. Breathing deeply, she stopped herself from pulling out her own gun and shooting people. Seriously, the men in her life were real idiots. Just as her murderous thoughts quelled, she noticed Steve, Thor and Natasha running down the hall, ready for a fight. She was close to telling them they needed to improve their reaction time but let the snarky comment go.

"You're...maybe pregnant?" Clint asked, awe, fear and excitement rolled into one adrenaline induced daze. "I- fuck I might be a dad. Wait, he's you're dad?" The daze was starting to lift.

"Yeah, I didn't want you to find out like this. Sorry I never told you. No one knows Tony's my dad. Big secret, security issues growing up. Normal stuff. Wait, how the hell did you know about my uterus updates?" The question was aimed at Tony.

"A father just knows," claimed Tony, something akin to sheepishness gracing his features when he saw the glare it got him. "Fine, I was rummaging through your trash and found the test." And didn't that just make him sound unhinged?

"Pepper said you stopped the Snoop Party- you know what, I don't care right now. How dare you! It's an invasion of my goddamn privacy and I'm twenty-three for fuck's sake!"

"Will _someone_ tell me what the fuck is going on around here?" Fury's booming voice cut through and caught everyone's attention. His eye was trained on Darcy and Tony, vein violently pulsing in his forehead.

"You know what? I'm done for the day," Darcy announced. "So I'm going to take my boyfriend here, make out with him for a bit, go to my doctor's appointment and work the rest of the day out after that. Agent Coulson, I've emailed your schedule for the day and the reports are on my desk. Agent Fury, all the inter-depertment relationship forms are filled out and in Agent Coulson's possession-"

"_He_ knew about the relationship?" shouted Tony, rather hysterically.

"Dad, you will eat this pastry, drink this hot chocolate and go get some sleep. I'll know because JARVIS will tell me. Don't make me put Thor on guard outside your door," Darcy handed him the paper bag that seemed to have one more pain au chocolat and the medium sized coffee cup. "Clint, let's go, I'll explain everything after some light groping. Then I'm taking you the doctor to get your neck and the contents of my uterus checked, no arguing."

"Yes ma'am," Clint let himself be led off by Darcy, as everyone watched with various expressions of amusement, amazement and confusion. Coulson looked rather unperturbed.

Taking a bite out of his newly acquired pastry, Tony felt his thoughts start to slow down a fraction. After a few long sips of the hot chocolate, his body started to feel the exhaustion of the past two days and he decided he needed to sleep on a few things before any further conclusions could be pulled from that day's events. As much as he wanted to follow Darcy and simply blow Clint's head off, the wrath of Darcy (and probably Pepper) wasn't worth it right now.

"Stark, you better get to my office and explain how the hell I don't know about you having a daughter and why you thought it was a brilliant fucking plan to try to kill Agent Barton," Fury demanded, trying not to let being told off by Darcy undermine his authority.

"You know what, I think I am going to get some sleep. We've got a mission tomorrow right? Coulson can update you. He seems to know more about Darcy than I do," there was a defeated tone to his statement, but he walked on, ignoring the looks he was getting from the other Avengers. The image of a bed seeming more and more like the better solution. If anything, the events only proved to Tony that he was kind of shitty dad. Another bite of the delicious pastry in his hand showed that he had somehow raised a pretty kick-ass daughter, despite the fact.


End file.
